I’m stuck between wanting:
1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love
2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet
3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career
It scares me how accurate this is.
i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens
Actually, I think the kid is playing Minecraft. Which is essentially digital Legos.
Two generations of creative people, just different methods of expression. Let’s not shit on the digital age as much, ‘eh?
You know what’s great about Minecraft?
You don’t get lacerations from stepping on it.
You know what’s great about legos?
Your shit doesn’t get blown up because a green penis snuck up on you.
omfg so today I saw a man and a woman holding hands in public, i mean i don’t have anything against heterosexuality but don’t flaunt it in front of me, think of the kids omfg
I don’t have anything against it either. I really don’t. My best friend is straight, but like, keep it in the bedroom you know?
please watch this it’s 6 seconds long
If I am ever upset send me this video. It is scientifically proven that this video will cheer me up no matter what. I have been sobbing in the middle of the night and I STILL LAUGHED when I saw this video. This video is everything I hope to be in life.
everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:
- 5 gallons of homework
- mouthful of lint
- 20 degrees of facial oil
- 7 pints of china
- handful of fergi
- 60 mph of dad
I was trying to describe how small my friend’s driveway was and the words were not coming to me and I sincerely called it “45 cents wide”